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Louisa's Memorial Celebration Sunday, November 8, 1998 as recounted by Leslie |
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Our memorial celebration of her life was held Sunday, November 8, 1998 at noon. Jessica had purchased the tree ... we had decided to use a ginkgo because of its aesthetic and unusual shapes and brilliant colors ... and Morgan had dug the hole a few days earlier. Nancy Grace and Sharon Collins, helping us get ready, bought and delivered supplies and cases of wine. Aunt Ann brought by an enormous ham ... delicious. I had worked up a brochure with a biography and tiny pictures to illustrate her life, staying up too late Saturday night to complete it and feeling more than a little shaky early Sunday morning when I went to Kinko's to get the copies. Tears started to flow. "If you were really in the funeral business, you'd have Kleenex around here," I sniffed. The man ran in the back and brought out a roll of paper towels for me. Prairie et al put up the hundreds of pictures which we had gleaned out of scrapbooks, shoe boxes, piles and files and enlarged to display on the long wall of Helen's hallway. The picture journey began in 1916 with the new baby in the Grace/Hannay household then worked through the events of Louisa's life and family: ... college ... marriage ... children ... move to Phoenix ... move to San Francisco ... glamour-rock years ... trips to Europe ... grandchildren ... and friends. So ... people began to arrive at noon. Prairie's rock n' roll friends, Helen's colleagues from her work, Jessica and Anna's friends, and the iron core: Ann and all the Graces, including Jeff, who flew down from Seattle, the Riley cousins from their ranches, Barb, Angelo, David Ireland, Iris, Susan and Buddy, Bob, Sue Moore, Tingle, Sharon and family, Lee, at the end. Mike Cotten flew up from Phoenix and surprised us. Bill Spooner arrived in a white linen suit, Elvis hairdo and his guitar. Every person who came was truly shaken by her loss. And as the tributes were spoken or sung, it really sunk in: she was truly appreciated by far-flung acquaintances as well as her inner circle for her caring attention and for her dynamite style. After a couple of hours of socializing it was time to gather in the little garden. We each read our tribute. Prairie: a selection from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet ... "And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance." Checkie's beautiful description of her walk in the woods with Louisa's spirit ... gathering the ginkgo leaves. Then Danny's sweet tribute to Louisa's love. Aunt Nancy, the Daphnes, Mary Riley, Pat Turetsky all had sent us writings to share. There was Jake's poem, and spoken remembrances by almost everyone present of sweet and funny incidents which made them love her. Bill Spooner sang To Dream the Impossible Dream and then Blue Moon. I had told him she loved that. Everyone joined in, singing along with Bill with abandon, I might add. The tree was put in place by Morgan and we each tossed handfuls of earth in to plant it. Nancy has presented us with a case of four dozen gardenias and now we passed them around on platters looking like wedding cake icing. We also passed the wooden tray of yellow ginkgo leaves sent by Checkie from Toad Hall. Gardenias were everywhere ... pinned in hair, or on lapels, carefully placed in the boughs of the tree and beneath it ... pure white on black earth. The fan-shaped yellow leaves were also pinned into hair and lapels and carried home for souvenirs by the departing crowd. One of the most amazingly sweet things to happen to us was when Nancy Newhouse phoned and after some tests of sounds level, hung her phone on the back of a chair, ran over to the piano which Michael was playing, and the two sang In the Glomming one of Grandmother Grace's favorites! Telecommunications at its best and most appreciated. Helen, Prairie and I were each on a phone listening and weeping. The continuum ... ... ... ... . Meanwhile, the spirit of the gathering was taking an uproarious turn. Gary Cambra, who is the keyboard player for The TUBES and was here with his little family, sat down at the Nancy Grace grand piano and started in on Beatles songs. Everyone sang along and aloud ... and we knew Louisa was with us there as well. She always wanted for the piano to be gathered around and people to sing. That finally calmed down and folks were drifting away with their potluck dishes and their gardenias and ginkgo leaves. We sat around and mulled over the day's events ... but exhaustion was setting in and after a bowl of polenta and kale soup (brought by Angelo) we went to bed. Now it is Monday morning ... and practical details have to be attended to, but we all feel that we did all we could possibly do to help Louisa in her last days, and that her good-bye tribute was totally meaningful to all who love her. We felt the incredible presence to all the family members who were far away physically, but in our midst in spirit. In April, 1999 we plan to gather the family again, this time in Maryland, and plant another tree in her memory. It will be right next to Charlie's oak tree. And as their roots intertwine, we will enjoy the thoughts that, symbolically, they are together again. Return to Louisa's Memorial Page
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